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Secret Guides

17 Tips On How To Make It Through This Blistering Heatwave Alive

Secret Bristol Secret Bristol

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Not sure if you’ve noticed, but it’s pretty fudging hot at the moment. Like really fudging hot.

We shouldn’t complain, but we are bloody complaining because it’s TOTALLY UN-BLOODY-BEARABLE. Here are some handy tips to help you survive this ungodly heatwave:

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1. Whinge to your friends, family and colleagues about how hot it is, often. This will most definitely help to cool you down.

heatwave tips london

2. Flock to the nearest beer garden…

3. …or any remotely green space. (Here’s our list of Bristol parks for you to explore.)

4. Fill your social calendar with a metric f*cktonne of BBQs and picnics.

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5. Drink Pimm’s by the gallon.

6. Don’t be fooled. Just because we’re in England, doesn’t mean the sun won’t fry you.

7. Wear a watch or a bracelet for the sole purpose of monitoring your tan.

heatwave tips london

8. Remember to add the temperature to all of your Instagram stories.

9. Tweet GWR and tell them to install air-con on all of their trains, because they will definitely listen, and everyone’s sweating even more under their masks.

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10. Talk about how you really need to buy a fan, but never actually buy a fan.

11. Avoid grey t-shirts.

12. Take at least three cold showers a day.

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13. Head to a rooftop and bask in the sunshine.

14. Moan about how amazing the office air con felt before working remotely, even though it meant risking hypothermia at your office desk.

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15. Start your Zoom calls each day with a harrowing story of how you couldn’t sleep at all last night because it was just too. damn. hot.

16. Dream about all the times you were cold.

17. Vow to never complain about the cold weather ever ever ever again.

If these heatwave tips just aren’t cutting it, try cooling down with ice cream from one of these chocolate shops in Bristol.

Tags: funny, summer