From colourful houses to Clifton Suspension Bridge, Turbo Island to the harbour, there are a few things that make Bristol, well, Bristol. We wouldn’t change them for the world… but it seems not everyone agrees. Checking out some of the reviews for the most iconic landmarks in Bristol it seems some people have got some gripes to get off their chest. But their terrible reviews just had us in stitches.
Clifton Suspension Bridge
“Just a small bridge”… sorry, have you seen the size of it? It’s massive! Clifton Suspension Bridge is an engineering marvel, it’s busy for a reason. At least another terrible review understood its historical importance, saying: “It’s not worth it !!! Except if you may consider this was built in XIX- th century…is NOTHING ! The view is absolut ordinary, it’s a time wasting place.” If you can’t appreciate the views from here, then we pity you. Avon Gorge is nothing but gorgeous.
SS Great Britain
You might be waiting a long time… Okay, this one had us going for a second, but we couldn’t help but include it. It just made us chuckle. The staff at the SS Great Britain are nothing but lovely. Their mannequin mates on the other hand…
Well, they’re right about this one, kind of. Blaise Castle is what’s called a folly castle, but you only have to look at it to know that. Doesn’t stop the fact that it and the surrounding area are absolutely charming. Something another reviewer also seemed to miss, while also complaining about the lack of a castle.
It read: “The paths are not marked and unsecured.. we were breaking through the thicket and stones were flying from the top … we were looking for this “castle” for an hour and then we were disappointed because it was no castle.. and then it turned out that it was best not to use the park maps because the main parking lot was 10 minutes in a straight line uphill – we wasted only time.”
Quite surprisingly, there are some absolutely brilliant reviews of the Bristol ‘social hotspot’, Turbo Island. Something tells us they might all be a bit disingenuous, however. This review positively highlights its “fire”, “comfy office chairs” and “friendly people”. One person says they “can’t wait to bring my family along!” While another states: “A great place for philosophical discussion and informed political debate. It reminded me somewhat of my stay with The Brighton Fine Wines Society.” We just feel sorry for the poor tourists visiting Bristol who believe these reviews.
Ashton Court Estate
Let’s read this review again: “i’d heard what a great place ashton court was from friends, but when a went to the car park i was destroyed by the uninspiring scenery. the grass was not at even as i’d been told and the undulations in the landscape were not at all dramatic as i’d been led to believe. the trees were mostly green, i’d imagined pinks, teals and vermillion reds. the ground was also a little to spongy for my tastes. the whole place was dreadful”
Sorry, but has this person ever been outside before? We’ve heard anyone complain that “the trees were mostly green”. We’ve only ever seen “teal” trees in our dreams… this is not an Ashton Court problem, but an everywhere problem.
Bristol City Docks
For most Bristolians, Harbourside is pretty much perfect. Surrounded by brilliant cafes and bars, filled with beautiful boats, plenty of space to sit on a summer’s day. But it seems this visitor was not impressed. “Bristol harbour and the walk around was grubby and litter strewn around,” it reads, before adding that “Car parking is a rip off.” After laying into “the murky dirty weils disease ridden harbour”, it goes on to give Bristol one of our favourite reviews ever:
It reminds me of a soviet city trying to be hip and trendy yet forgetting to do anything to its infrastructure that would attract tourism
We know Bristol has a stereotype of being a leftist city, but Soviet? We don’t know about that…
“We climbed up and climbed down in about five minutes and wondered why we’d bothered. The only saving grace is the very good pub at the bottom!” When it comes to bad reviews of Bristol landmarks, we take this one kind of personally… We’ve waxed lyrical about our love of the Christmas Steps before. From Ahh Toots and its outrageously amazing boutique cakes to the longest-running video store in the world, 20th Century Flicks, there’s so much magic to discover. At least they found the pub!